Sunday, March 13, 2011

Caution Tape

I find I need some type of control in my life. I thought, "Psht, I have an ED because I want to be thin and beautiful not because I need control." But, I've started noticing how my dad said I couldn't play the drums (which I'm super good at & love with all my heart) because I had to be a vocalist... How my mom used to pick out all my clothes and dress me up like a doll with out an identity. And now, my fiance holds my arm when he wants me to stay somewhere against my will...

Ahh. Not eating and working out is the only thing left I can control. It's the only thing I'm good at. I'll weigh soon, I feel lighter today. I'm two weeks late for my period... could I harm a child in my belly with not eating? Married in 10 days!

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